St. Simons Community Church

Do you want to change? That is a question I asked last week. I also talked about how we change. True spiritual growth and change is not a product of our own effort or performance. God is the One who makes things grow. And God is the One who makes people grow. Without the power of the Holy Spirit, we are helpless to truly grow spiritually. We need God if we are to become godly. Only Jesus can produce his life, his love, and his character in us.

Last week, we said that one of the great hindrances to true spiritual growth is a lack of understanding about who God is. There is another huge hindrance to spiritual growth that I often see in many Christians. The problem is self righteousness. The self righteous person basically feels they are good enough, or they are just not that bad of a person. The root of self righteousness is based upon one’s own ability, performance and effort to please God by keeping his law and commandments. Self righteousness is falsely rooted in the idea that you can behave good enough for God or that you can earn God’s favor through human effort. Our culture is full of people who think they live a pretty good life and that they are fine, more than good enough for God.

If a person thinks they are good enough for God though, then they really don’t need God. They will find no need for his grace either. God will be a nice little addition to their life, but there will be no sense of real need. And if you do not know your need for God and His grace, then growth and change will be hard to come by. The moment you think you can grow on your own, then you are no longer depending upon God for true change in your life.

If I can be honest with you, I think most of our churches are filled with self righteous people. Most of us church people think we are pretty good, especially when we compare ourselves to others. We look at the 10 commandments and think, “I haven’t murdered anyone or robbed a bank lately.” Jesus took it deeper though. He said if you hold hatred or bitterness in your heart against another, then you are a murderer. I know that is tough stuff, but that is what Jesus said. Jesus wants to make sure that we remain humble. Jesus did not die for us because we were good people.

The Apostle Paul said, “… no one will be declared righteous in (God’s) sight by observing the law; rather through the law we became conscious of sin” (Romans 3:20). Paul was telling us that we could never become righteous before God by obeying all the law. The reason is because no one will obey it perfectly. We will continually fail. Paul’s point is that the law is there to actually help us become aware of our sin. How would you know that it is wrong to be jealous if God never said, “Thou shall not be jealous?” If God did not give us his commandments, we would think we are fine. The commandments not only show us what a righteous life should look like, but they also show us how far we fall short. God’s commandments are meant to keep us from becoming self-righteous. The law is meant to make us see our need for Jesus, and for our grace.

The whole point of God’s Word, and especially of the law and commandments is to help drive you to Jesus. Do you want to change? Do you want to grow? Then realize that you are not as good as you think you are, and let that drive you closer to Jesus. You will find that his love and grace are sufficient for your life. And that’s the Word.

Do you remember what it was like when you were trying to get a date?  Are you still in the place where are looking to get a date?  Last week I began a series of columns dealing with our relationships.  We want to talk about some principles for good relationships, starting with the dating process and moving into marriage.  (Next week though, we will break from the current series of articles to talk about Easter).  We said last week that before you get a date, you need to get a life.  You know what else you need?  A standard.

I am often surprised at how Christians really don’t have very high standards for the people they would choose to date.  And yet this is so important because you never know who you will find yourself falling in love with.  There are 6 billion people on the face of the planet.  Do you think there is a possibility that you could find yourself attracted to more than one of them.  You could feel chemistry with many different people, but that doesn’t mean that they would all be a good complement for you.

One of the ways that you sort through the 6 billion people on the face of the planet is by eliminating as many of them as possible by developing a set of standards.  For a lot of singles, eliminating the right one might be just as important as finding the right one.  You may find yourself with a sizzling hot attraction for someone but they could be all wrong for you.

The first standard for any follower of Christ is this: Is the other person a Christian?  The apostle Paul said, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14).  A yoke was a piece of wood that would harness two oxen together for the purpose of directing their energy and power in the same direction.  The yoke would keep the oxen pulling in the same direction.  If they weren’t of equal strength, however, they would begin to pull against one another.  Eventually one ox would pull the other one in the wrong direction.

As a Christian, if you get into dating relationships where you are unequally yoked, they will most likely drag you off course from your faith, your values and your morals.  I bet some of you know this from experience. Perhaps you met a guy (or a girl) and in the end you found yourself making compromises you never would have imagined.  You may have lowered your standards sexually, financially, or in some other area of your integrity.

Too many people get in wrong relationships because they have not set a clear set of standards.  We all want God’s results for our relationships don’t we?  It is unreasonable to ignore God’s standards and still expect God’s outcome in our relationships.

Too often we set our standards for dating based upon physical appearance, social status, intellectual ability and financial means.  If they look good, have the goods, and make us feel good, then we are ready to go.
God’s standards for our relationships start with character  and qualities.  The key to finding the right mate is to identify the character and qualities you will hold as your standard, and then evaluate any potential partner according to those standards.  A woman can be beautiful but she might have poor character.  A man might be a business success but could courtesy and respect.  Your primary concern should not be with how he or she looks, but what kind of person he or she really is.  So, what are your standards?  Do you have any?  Before you get a date, get a standard.  And that’s the Word.