Do you remember what it was like when you were trying to get a date? Are you still in the place where are looking to get a date? Last week I began a series of columns dealing with our relationships. We want to talk about some principles for good relationships, starting with the dating process and moving into marriage. (Next week though, we will break from the current series of articles to talk about Easter). We said last week that before you get a date, you need to get a life. You know what else you need? A standard.
I am often surprised at how Christians really don’t have very high standards for the people they would choose to date. And yet this is so important because you never know who you will find yourself falling in love with. There are 6 billion people on the face of the planet. Do you think there is a possibility that you could find yourself attracted to more than one of them. You could feel chemistry with many different people, but that doesn’t mean that they would all be a good complement for you.
One of the ways that you sort through the 6 billion people on the face of the planet is by eliminating as many of them as possible by developing a set of standards. For a lot of singles, eliminating the right one might be just as important as finding the right one. You may find yourself with a sizzling hot attraction for someone but they could be all wrong for you.
The first standard for any follower of Christ is this: Is the other person a Christian? The apostle Paul said, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). A yoke was a piece of wood that would harness two oxen together for the purpose of directing their energy and power in the same direction. The yoke would keep the oxen pulling in the same direction. If they weren’t of equal strength, however, they would begin to pull against one another. Eventually one ox would pull the other one in the wrong direction.
As a Christian, if you get into dating relationships where you are unequally yoked, they will most likely drag you off course from your faith, your values and your morals. I bet some of you know this from experience. Perhaps you met a guy (or a girl) and in the end you found yourself making compromises you never would have imagined. You may have lowered your standards sexually, financially, or in some other area of your integrity.
Too many people get in wrong relationships because they have not set a clear set of standards. We all want God’s results for our relationships don’t we? It is unreasonable to ignore God’s standards and still expect God’s outcome in our relationships.
Too often we set our standards for dating based upon physical appearance, social status, intellectual ability and financial means. If they look good, have the goods, and make us feel good, then we are ready to go.
God’s standards for our relationships start with character and qualities. The key to finding the right mate is to identify the character and qualities you will hold as your standard, and then evaluate any potential partner according to those standards. A woman can be beautiful but she might have poor character. A man might be a business success but could courtesy and respect. Your primary concern should not be with how he or she looks, but what kind of person he or she really is. So, what are your standards? Do you have any? Before you get a date, get a standard. And that’s the Word.
Tags: David Yarborough, st. simons community church, the brunswick news, What's the Word?