All of our marriages could use a little more love and respect. These are two key ingredients in a healthy marriage. Scripture says, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). This verse speaks to the basic needs and desires that a man and woman have in their marriage.
According to scripture, God calls the man to be the head of his wife. This means that he is called to be a servant leader in his home. Some women may struggle with the idea of the man being called the head of the women, but deep down I believe most women want a strong man they can trust their life with. I believe most women don’t feel as secure when they are the ones having to lead the family morally, spiritually, financially, and in the area of discipline with the kids. A woman doesn’t want Conan pushing her around the house, but she doesn’t want a piece of milk toast either. There are a lot of men who are very passive when it comes to responsibility around their home. They can build a business, develop business networks, lower a golf score, kill an 8-point buck with a bow, but they may check out at home. They don’t lead. They don’t initiate. Most women want a man who will value them, and that they can trust enough to follow. A man is also called to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Christ’s love was active. It was much more than an emotion. He demonstrated his love by giving his life. The love we have for our wives should be active.
Men, do you know what your wife’s love language is? In other words, what is that you can do that really lets her know you love her? If you don’t know, ask her. She can tell you what makes her feel loved. She can tell you what it is that you can do to communicate your love. My wife likes quality time and acts of service. That means the best way I can tell her I love her is to wash the dishes and plan a date to spend time with just her. The bottom line is that your wife wants to know that she is loved and valued. So guys, how are you doing? Not sure? Go ask your wife.
Women, do you know what a man wants in a wife? He wants a wife who will show him honor and respect. This makes a man feel that he is good, that he has what it takes. If you look at the major marriage passages in the New Testament, God never tells a woman to love her husband. Instead God focuses on the word respect. It has been said that every woman wants to be loved, and that every man wants to be admired. This must be why God calls a woman to respect her husband.
According to some research, most women can distinguish between love and respect. This means they can love their husband, but not respect him. For a man, this does not compute. If he doesn’t feel his wife respects him, then he doesn’t feel loved. Men can’t separate the two. A wife is actually loving her husband as Christ calls her to when she shows him honor and respect.
Our God is a God who calls husbands to love their wives when they are unlovable; and wives are called to respect their husbands even when they are un-respectable. So God’s plan for a solid marriage is “Love and Respect.” When a couple can give these to one another, they begin to meet the deepest needs of each other’s heart. Sound good to you? Well go try it. And that’s the Word.
Tags: David Yarborough, love, Marriage, respect, st. simons community church, the brunswick news, what's the word article