There is an old saying that goes like this: “Denial is not just a river in Egypt.” The reality is that denial is a problem most all of us have whether we realize it or not. Just when I think I have busted through all of my denial and can see myself, my life, and my issues clearly, God seems to open my eyes up once again.
Denial keeps us from admitting that we have a problem. It keeps us from moving forward in our lives. Denial is one of the major barriers that keeps us stuck in neutral. We excuse ourselves: “Really it’s no problem. I can handle it. I am just fine.” We also accuse others: “It’s all her fault. If my wife would just get her act together, we wouldn’t be having this problem.” People who are in denial specialize in making excuses and playing the blame game.
Denial is really one of Satan’s most effective tools that keep us stuck in our sin as we act like everything is fine while life is spinning out of control. Self honesty and humility are the only things that will help us come out of our denial. I am constantly amazed at how we can often be so unwilling to simply admit the truth about what everyone else sees in our lives. Some deny their anger, some their irresponsibility, some their poor relational patterns and choices, some their addictions, etc. We constantly justify and rationalize ourselves as we make excuses for our behavior.
Jesus said, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). We will never be free if we a lie. We will never be free if we are not willing to listen to the truth. We will never be free if we are stuck in denial.
God’s got an antidote for denial. It is a little word called pain. We are not willing to change when we see the light. We change when we feel the heat. We are often only willing to change when the pain of not changing exceeds the fear of change. God has some denial busters to get our attention to help move us forward into a life of truth and growth.
The first one is conviction. The Holy Spirit has the ability to reveal to us our problems and need. The Holy Spirit shines the light upon our sin and our weaknesses at times so we will turn to God for forgiveness and healing. It is always a wise thing to ask the Holy Spirit to examine our hearts and reveal any areas that are hindering us or holding us back from God. If we are humble, God is faithful through time to lead us into greater truth and maturity.
Secondly, there is crisis. Sometimes God uses a crisis to get our attention. A crisis can often cause us to seek to make changes in our life. An illness, job loss, etc. can be the perfect backdrop for God to do a great work in our hearts and lives.
The third denial buster is confrontation. This is when someone cares enough to tell you that you are blowing it. Oh I hate it when that happens. Don’t you? But we need those people in our lives who will tell us what we simply cannot see. Proverbs tells us, “The wounds of a friend are to be trusted more than the kisses of an enemy.” If a friend wounds us, hopefully it will be to help us.
The last buster is catastrophe. Hopefully he will not have to use this in our lives. Truthfully though, the bottom must fall out for some people before they are willing to humble themselves, get honest with themselves and God, and look up for help. When the bottom falls out, we begin to feel the full impact of our own stupid decisions. Boom. Denial is fully busted.
I wish you a denial free 2008. And that’s the Word.